Catwoman Review

Insert pussy cat joke here

Catwoman (2004): 2 out of 10: Halle Berry isn’t the first actor to squander Oscar gold (F. cough Murray cough Abraham) but I can’t recall an actor doing it so quickly.

Sure Oscar winners have old films embarrassingly show up on DVD and after a few years and ex-wives, they will take a paycheck role in some European schlock. But in your next movie in which you are the star?

Berry isn’t awful as simply horrible miscast (lacks a certain erotic nastiness for the role.) and apparently doesn’t have the acting chops to make up the difference. One must speculate how the studio felt when the first rushes came in. It sounded so good on paper and Berry is such a big star it’s doubtful that any screen test was done. Now the evidence is in front of them and the enormity of the casting mistake is obvious. Was anyone in that room brave enough to admit the emperor has no clothes?

Now Berry is hardly the worst actor in the movie (Alex Borstein as the fat horny comic relief is pretty awful but the honors go to Frances Conroy as the cat lady who is so awful one wonders if she has ever had a conversation with another human.)

While the movie overall is not nearly as bad as its reputation led me to believe Catwoman still falls short. Besides acting there is the horrible horrible music (a 13-year-old girl’s idea of what is hip), a lot of silly jumping around the city scenes, and the coup de grace, the Ferris wheel scene.

Now no-one wants to see Catwoman save cherub face boy from carney ride gone bad, come to think of it no-one wants to see Batman do this either. The direction and scripting on this scene are bad, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever bad. If you rent this (or God forbid received it as a gift) see deleted scenes for an excellent action scene involving dogs in a junkyard that rivals anything put in the movie. I guess they didn’t want any dogs in the final movie. Too close to home.

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