Soft Core Car Porn
2 Fast 2 Furious (2003): 5 out of 10: Okay so it’s car porn. It’s rather well-done car porn. Stunningly brainless but rather fun in places 2 Fast 2 Furious gives us a candy-colored version of street racing with a plot that is best not even discussed.
After all, you don’t watch this for the plot. You watch it for the cars. Complete with giant product placement for Mitsubishi among others, the cars and characters are right out of a video game (the car’s paint jobs match the driver’s personalities) and kudos to the filmmakers for keeping the CGI to a minimum. The movie made me want to trick out my old Dodge Dart. (Electric Blue paint job with matching neon on yeah baby).
Director John Singleton moves the cars around like he has been directing Burt Reynolds’s movies all his life. (This is not a criticism and the fact he avoids Cannonball Run style humor is another plus.) Singletary who usually films much more important movies, (what’s next Scorsese’s Jaws 5 or Spike Lee’s Ella Enchanted 2 Ella in Da Hood? Of course the way some of Spike’s recent films have gone this may not be a bad idea) keeps the pace tight and the actors attractive.
However, all is not peachy keen. For example, I haven’t seen African American hairstyles this bad since Cotton came to Harlem. The Tyrese character comes across as a complete idiot almost sinking the movie once or twice. (Now I know Tyrese can act I saw Baby Boy.)Another quick note I have driven cars with nitrous oxide and they give you a burst of acceleration not warp speed effects from Star Trek. (And let us face it the Mitsubishi cars are pretty but not fast. These cars are dragging down a strip after a minute and the speedometer finally moves from 90 to 120. My Dart has better acceleration after 60 sixty seconds.
The movie, to its credit, acknowledges when the cars get whooped by some old American muscle. I know I promised not to discuss the plot but one thing. If you needed someone to drive two million dollars from Miami to Key West (all of 2 hours on Interstate 95 and Route 1), would you A: hire an old couple in an RV B: Drive it yourself or C: Hire two ex-cons in the flashiest cars you have ever seen and who had to this point been incapable of rounding the block without causing an accident and attracting various state and local agencies. I guess that’s why we are not criminal masterminds.