The Shark is a lie.
In Amityville Island (2020): 3 out of 10: the film opens with Kelly Jo Knight (Jamie Morgan), a mother haunted by financial struggles, stumbling upon a yard sale at the infamous Amityville Horror house. (Where I hear you can pick up an ugly lamp) Intrigued by the items, she purchases an antique doll, unknowingly inviting malevolent forces into her life.
As Kelly brings the doll home, its sinister influence begins to take hold. Slowly, she becomes possessed by the evil spirit residing within the doll, leading her down a path of darkness and madness. One fateful night, driven by the doll’s influence, Jamie commits a horrific act, slaughtering her family in a terrifying frenzy, though the gruesome details are left to the audience’s imagination since they did not have the budget.
Subsequently, Jamie finds herself incarcerated, grappling with the guilt and confusion surrounding her actions. Within the confines of prison, she crosses paths with another inmate, Renata (Danielle Donahue), whose own troubled past mirrors Jamie’s in eerie ways. Their volatile encounter results in disciplinary action, and they are both transferred to a remote island laboratory under the supervision of a mad doctor.
Unbeknownst to Jamie and Danielle, the doctor is conducting grotesque fertility experiments on female patients, utilizing twisted methods in his quest for scientific advancement. As Jamie and Danielle navigate the horrors of their new surroundings, they uncover the doctor’s diabolical schemes and realize they must fight for their survival against both human and supernatural threats.
Driven by desperation and a desire for redemption, Jamie and Danielle form an unlikely alliance, drawing upon their strength and resilience to confront the evil that lurks within the island laboratory. Together, they must navigate a treacherous landscape of madness and deceit, where the line between reality and nightmare blurs with each passing moment.
As tensions escalate and the truth behind the doctor’s experiments is revealed, Jamie and Danielle must summon all their courage to confront the plot holes that surround them. In a final showdown with the forces of evil, they must confront their own demons and fight for their freedom against impossible odds.
Amityville Island is a chilling tale of possession, survival, and redemption, where the horrors of the past collide with the terrors of the present, leaving no one untouched by the outrageously misleading marketing that lurks within.
The Good
The Good: The second time I watched Amityville Island I have to confess I enjoyed it a touch more than the first time. For one thing, I knew going in that the box art was a lie and I know it was a confusing mess. There is some good acting hiding here (or at least competent) and there are some well framed shots considering the film is zero budget.
The soundtrack is surprisingly good.
The Bad
The Bad: There is a bullet wound would constantly appear and disappear on our prisoner’s shoulder. The film clearly takes place in winter in New York but they swim out to a boat and not only are they not almost dead from hypothermia but they are not even wet.
The Ugly
The Ugly: The zombie mask (it isn’t even makeup) is a paper mache disaster that would fail a fifth-grade art class. It looks like a poorly made mask from the At Your Fingertips: Grasses collection. How or why this is in the movie compared to any alternative is a mystery.
In Conclusion
In Conclusion. There is no shark except for one scene. There is plenty of random footage from what I am guessing other films from the Wild Eye zero budget stable. The movie occasionally becomes borderline interesting with a touch of good acting only for the next scene to completely unwind any good will.
Amityville Island resembles a modern and in focus remake of Frankenstein Island. Though thankfully it somehow never reaches the nadir that Frankenstein Island archives.