The Shark is a lie.
In Amityville Island (2020): 3 out of 10: A financially struggling mother (Jamie Morgan) purchases an antique doll at a yard sale at the Amityville Horror house, demonstrating why sometimes it is worth paying full price at Target. Following a supernatural episode that lands her in prison, she and a fellow inmate (Danielle Donahue) are transferred to a remote island laboratory, where a mad doctor has some rather unconventional ideas about women’s healthcare. The pair must contend with sinister experiments and lingering evil in a location unlikely to pass its next inspection. Anyone expecting the shark from the poster should adjust their vacation plans accordingly.
The Good
The Good: The second time I watched Amityville Island I have to confess I enjoyed it a touch more than the first time. For one thing, I knew going in that the box art was a lie and I know it was a confusing mess. There is some good acting hiding here (or at least competent) and there are some well framed shots considering the film is zero budget.
The soundtrack is surprisingly good.
The Bad
The Bad: There is a bullet wound would constantly appear and disappear on our prisoner’s shoulder. The film clearly takes place in winter in New York but they swim out to a boat and not only are they not almost dead from hypothermia but they are not even wet.
The Ugly
The Ugly: The zombie mask (it isn’t even makeup) is a paper mache disaster that would fail a fifth-grade art class. It looks like a poorly made mask from the At Your Fingertips: Grasses collection. How or why this is in the movie compared to any alternative is a mystery.
In Conclusion
In Conclusion. There is no shark except for one scene. There is plenty of random footage from what I am guessing other films from the Wild Eye zero budget stable. The movie occasionally becomes borderline interesting with a touch of good acting only for the next scene to completely unwind any good will.
Amityville Island resembles a modern and in focus remake of Frankenstein Island. Though thankfully it somehow never reaches the nadir that Frankenstein Island archives.