Frog-g-g! (2004) Review

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Kermit No!

Frog-g-g! (2004): 7 out of 10: Frog-g-g is slightly better than the average nature gone wild remake that one usually finds on the Sci-Fi channel running in a movie marathon some rainy Saturday afternoon. (This is damning with faint praise.) 

It has a good sense of fun about it, a real catchy theme song and lipstick lesbian sex scenes. It is also a missed opportunity that tries to do a couple of things and pretty much fails at all of them. 

For example, the lead scientist character is a lesbian. She is played by Kristi Russell who makes a decent movie lesbian. (A movie lesbian is a hot chick who likes to make out with other hot chicks, preferably when guys are watching. We should not confuse this with some non-movie lesbians who have mullets, beer guts, wear hockey jerseys and will kick you ass for looking at them twice.) While there are a couple of brief lesbian sex scenes, they seem a bit sisterly. (I really don’t mean this in a good way). There is some topless hugging and kissing, but nothing that screams good exploitation.

Well, at least as a parody of 70s nature gone wild movies it works right? Nope. All the parts are here (The scientist hero, her girlfriend, the reluctant sheriff and the big bad industrialist who is both the lifeblood of this town and the sheriff’s brother-in-law.), but the movie plays it much too straight for a good Airplane! style parody. 

Everything else is downhill from there. The movie has no horror at all and considering the plot comprises a man-sized frog copulating with virgins, the sexploitation is also disappointing. (I’m sorry but when one rents a cheap C-grade Humanoids from the Deep rip-off. One expects a hecatomb of nubile young flesh and gratuitous nudity to boot.)

I’m a sucker for nature gone wild movies and movie lesbian sex, no matter how tame, has never hurt a film. Neither has a catchy theme song with the dancing Sleestak.

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