Mystery Science Theater 3000 Ep. 1004, Future War, (1997) Review

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What is it Good for?

Future War: 1 out of 10: Future War brings with it many questions, starting with whom are those people on the DVD cover? They do not appear anywhere in the film. I have seen misleading DVD covers before (Cough… Lionsgate… Cough) but Future War takes it to a new level.

The plot is your usual fare. Jean-Claude Van Damme look alike Daniel Bernhardt is a slave in outer space. He escapes to Earth and is tracked by Tyrannosaurus Rex puppets shot in forced perspective. He meets up with a former drug addicted prostitute who is going through novitiate as a Catholic nun yet she still has street cred and a scrapbook of her hooker days.

So slave boy and the novice nun join up with local 12 steppers and gang bangers to fight the T-Rex puppets and kickboxing against Robert Z’Dar’s chin. The fight scenes comprise either people kicking empty boxes at each other or Dinosaur puppets in hallways with empty boxes. In fact, they fill the entire film with empty boxes like a Solid Snake wet dream or a UPS training film.

Even with a budget in the thousands, I am not sure the script is filmable. The acting, with the notable exception of Travis Brooks Stewart (The ex-hooker nun) is amateur at best. There is no nudity, limited gore, and the special effects consist of dinosaur puppets.

The Mystery Science Theater version of this film gets 8 out of 10. Decent riffing and skits though even Mike and the bots seem overwhelmed by the sheer incompetence on the screen

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[…] room with the card table removed and stacks of cardboard boxes in its place. I half expected the puppet dinosaurs from Future War to make a guest […]