Good God, don’t disasters hit the non-tourist areas.
The Core (2003): 4 out of 10: Disaster movies always seem to do better when the disaster is local in scope. A city threatened by avalanche, a tower threatened by an inferno, a Poseidon threatened by an adventure, that kind of thing. Earth killer movies are always a harder road.
You have your 4 standard horseman of the earth disaster; nuclear war, space invaders, plagues (esp. those that create zombies), and meteors. Lately earth killing movies have gotten creative and lets face it stupid, global warming (The Day after Tomorrow), President George W Bush (Fahrenheit 9/11) and now The Core with its well… I’m still not sure what broke.
The core of the earth stopped spinning (not the earth itself, mind you) which is causing the electromagnetic field to dissipate. Okay, that sounds serious. So that would cause what exactly? Apparently the movie wasn’t all that sure so we get scenes of some of the lamest and implausible disasters ever. Let’s put two under the scientific microscope, shall we?
One involves birds going all Hitchcock in London due to their inability to navigate using the magnetic field. Okay, that may affect the birds’ ability to fly south (Oh my god the pigeons they’re going east!), but even the Mr. Magoo of the avian world wouldn’t start flying into statues and buses.
In another all too short montage, a lightning storm destroys the Roman Coliseum. I’m not sure what is more unlikely, lighting striking relatively short rock structures, or the granite exploding when it does. Lightning, last time I checked, was attracted to metal.
But what would you expect from a movie that puts a giant windshield in a rock-drilling machine (Made with that magic metal Unobtainium). Keep in mind, I’ve only scratched the surface of the silliness.
Acting wise Stanley Tucci is a joy and everyone else is forgettable. The Core is enjoyable in that bad 50s sci-fi kind of way. But they needed more (and more plausible) disasters, and much less of well everything else.
I know the trailer’s job is to make the film seem exciting, but even a trailer cannot hide the complete fail of both concept and execution.
Lots of dreamy shots of Aaron Eckhart and Bruce Greenwood. Also, some of Hilary Swank, who for some reason is considerably less dreamy in the film. Plenty of fun snark below as well. The Core is very riffable and is ripe for such fun activities as guessing who dies next. (Pro tip pick the Black Guy)
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