The Scorpion King: Book of Souls (2018) Review

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The Scorpion King: Book of Souls (2018): 7 out of 10: The Scorpion King’s plan to live the simple life is ruined when a mad king (Not played by Tony Todd) with a demon possessed sword threatens his idyllic farm life and it is off to find the titular Book of Souls which is the only thing that can stop The Mad King’s Demon Sword.

The hanging body parts add a festive touch.

The Good

The Good: Well it is better than Scorpion King 2. Sword and sandal film has some decent fight scenes, keeps the camera in focus, some PG-13 fan service and a funny golem (Jewish not Middle Earth). If you can ignore the story (I highly recommend this) there is some family-friendly action adventure waiting for you.

Fan Service incoming.

The Bad

The Bad: If you cannot ignore the story, you are in for a rough ride. For starters, even trying to figure out the geography of everyone is a chore. (I know where the Nubians are historically but I have no idea where the Scorpion King is currently residing or where Not Tony Todd and his army are hailing from or where the Book of Souls is supposed to be and why they are next to the ocean unless that was the only place to film the sand scenes.

This was clearly filmed in Cape Town, South Africa, which is a mere 5926 mile road trip from where The Mummy movie took place. To put that in perspective that is longer than the distance between Columbus, Ohio and Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

In addition, the movie suffers from the Death Star destroyed let’s call this a win syndrome (Decapitated Army). Even if you destroy Not Tony Todd’s magic sword, he still has a fanatical army and you are still three people and a golem.

They broke the sword I guess we should all go home now.

The Ugly

The Ugly: Why is this a Scorpion King movie? Seriously. The story fits a lot better as a PG-13 Conan adventure, and the lead actor looks nothing like the Scorpion King. Honestly, if you called this Prince of Persia and the Book of Souls, it would make a lot more sense in both casting and story.

See, this is definitely some Prince of Persia action.

In Conclusion

In Conclusion: The Scorpion King: Book of Souls moves fast enough and has enough fighting and fan service to keep one awake for an hour and a half. Family friendly and fun to tear apart while watching it. It is at least a somewhat enjoyable romp. That golem is hilarious BTW. He really needs a better movie.

He is hilarious… his club is a bit disturbing though.

Crocodile head guy appears in the opening credits and sadly not in the rest of the film.
Special Note: Not Tony Todd was played by Peter Mensah, who did a fine job with his role.
We also have Not Willem Dafoe played by Brandon Auret.
I love Not Willem Dafoe in this movie
Though I keep misspelling Willem Dafoe’s name.
More Prince of Persia action
It would be kind of hard to see in that getup. I would keep fiddling with the rezza as it gets in my eyes.
I would think that the arrow that pierced your heart would be a priority.
Love is a burning thing
And it makers a firery ring
Bound by wild desire
I fell in to a ring of fire
The movie also has an entire Beastmaster plot.
Instead of Marc Singer, our Beastmaster is played by Inge Beckmann in a Three Stooges haircut.
The screenwriter makes a cameo
An old fashioned Stargate.
And one of those disc things that coughs up swords. This desert is full of plot devices.
I see that Samantha Carter reworked the dialing system on Earth to account for stellar drift
Pearl Thusi is attractive and capable in the movie. But she wears a horribly distracting nose ring throughout the film. No wonder hunky Prince of Persia hooks up with Miss Fan Service and Not Tony Todd hooks up with Sexy Moe haircut.
Apparently, they entered the tomb of bric-à-brac.
Caught smoking.
Mayling Ng uses way too much eyeshadow.
Meanwhile, on Don’t Tell the Bride
I see an out of shape Kratos is making a guest appearance.
I have no idea what is going on in this screenshot, but that is some good dynamic framing.
Well, it wasn’t the bondage scene I was asking for.
They must have filmed on cut day.
This scene did not end the way I wanted it to.
Speaking of fan service ,
Katy Louise Saunders does a great job.
So in the very new tradition of Keira Knightley in Pride & Prejudice
I present you with some highlights
Of Katy Louise Saunders’ role in The Scorpion King: Book of Souls
Without commentary
Eventually
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