Ulli Lommel’s Zodiac Killer (2005) Movie Review

Horoscope says you will tear your eyes out in pain

Ulli Lommel’s Zodiac Killer (2005): 1 out of 10: Worst acting ever. No really, the worst acting ever. David Hess (Last House on the Left. No, the one from the seventies. Rent it, it’s excellent) is the worst of this bunch (Pretty stiff competition but he is amazingly god-awful.) One would be hard pressed to find a home movie participant with such an awkward camera presence. The film screeches to a stunning, painful halt when he is on the screen.

Not that the film has any redeeming qualities for Mr. Hess to ruin. Filmed with a home movie camera and by the looks of things, a pretty old one at that, complete with an attached boom mike, it creates the barest tolerable audio video experience with no post production either. Come on, there has to be some shovel ware a five-year-old computer could use that could clean up this picture. Throw in bizarre stock footage pictures of autopsies as well as aircraft carrier takeoffs, and this is one visually screwed up picture.

The autopsy pictures are interspersed in the way Italian cannibal films interject those god-awful real-life animal killings. And the Navy footage is supposed to be some sort of anti-war statement (Cause we know all the bloodthirsty maniacs join the Navy) What in the world is Lionsgate doing releasing this garbage? Zodiac Killer would embarrass Troma.

The plot is about the Zodiac Killer (Last seen in Dirty Harry. No, the one from the seventies. Rent it, It’s excellent) Somebody gets shot in the stomach in LA, and the cops assume the Zodiac Killer is back? Uh-huh. What can you expect from a movie that doesn’t know that DSM IV is a book, not a psychiatric disorder and where the young killer older man relationship resembles that of a congressional page and closeted congressman? Yeah, eighties haircuts and production values meet a Nambla subplot. Shoot me now.