Underworld Evolution (2006) Review

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Vampires and werewolves and Kate oh my…

Underworld Evolution (2006): 7 out of 10: I have a new Mantra for you “forget the plot.” Come on, repeat after me, “forget the plot.” Good, now you are ready to watch this movie. Leaving the plot aside (Vampires and werewolves hate each other and are at war and have the same kin and the fate of the world blah blah blah) we have Kate Beckinsale running around for 106 minutes in a tight corseted leather outfit killing pretty much everyone while great FX and great cinematography surround her.

The Good

The Good: Well, the violence is more Saw than an action movie, there is brief nudity (not from Kate mind you), there are some neat toys that would make James Bond jealous and the movie is never dull. The lack of boredom saves this film. It is easy on the eyes (FX, cinematography, Kate) and unlike Van Helsing, there are no groan-inducing stunts (I.E., no horse and carriage leaping the Grand Canyon while everyone plays Spider-Man.) Outside of the thick back-story plot, there is one fly in this action-packed ointment, Scott Speedman.

The Bad

The Bad: Speedman plays a hybrid wolf vampire as if he wandered in off the set of Jennifer Aniston romantic comedy where he is a florist and she a newly divorced waitress raising her niece. Hey, Speedman, this is Underworld Evolution, not a Felicity Halloween special.

Even Scott Speedman’s beast form looks more like a hirsute member of the Blue Man Group than anything dangerous, and his “superpowers” are used for such manly tasks as opening a can of paint. (Good God he can’t even get the sex scene right either his genitals are located near his knee, or he was attempting to copulate with Miss Beckinsale’s navel though this may be because the director is Mr. Kate Beckinsale so Speedman may be off the hook here.)

In Conclusion

In Conclusion: Despite a wussy good guy character out of an empowerment romantic comedy and a plot that no one could care about Underworld Evolution is a pretty fun ride.


A trailer showing off Miss Beckinsale’s enhanced blue peepers.

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