Warriors of Terra (2006) Review

Terrable

Warriors of Terra (2006): 2 out of 10: Alien style movies have been done to death for a very long time. They can still work if A: The creature is decent. B: The gore is decent and C: If the underground fortress/submarine/spaceship the people are trapped on/in contains co-ed showers.

Grudge / Ringu style movies with pasty-faced white skinned black-haired ghosts that scream like insects have also been done to death. I think that genre is closed for business.

Warriors of Terra combines the two genres, which is a bad idea. Warriors of Terra then takes that already shaky foundation and goes nowhere with it. There is no decent gore, no co-ed showers and a pasty ghost girl is not scary except in an OMG there is still another hour left to this movie kind of way.

First-time director Robert Wilson has his finger stuck on the annoying effects button so we can never get a clear view of the action. (Guys don’t zoom while you’re moving the camera).

The plot is that of an animal’s right group (Complete with a rich daddy’s girl, radical ELF terrorist who inexplicably sports a fur collar on her parka and my favorite cliché hot computer geek who can hack into anything from her Mystery Machine Van headquarters as if she was Oracle.) attacking the big bad bio-lab. The corporate laboratory, of course, has a basement located somewhere around the earth’s core and is defended by a nerve gas doomsday device. (Are those available at Staples?). You can pretty much write the ending from here.

Michael J Fox look-alike and T2 has-been Edward Furlong looks and acts like a cautionary walking billboard about drug use.

The other acting and production values are decent (this is not a filmed with daddy’s old camera job), but the Grudge ghost in an Alien flick concept plays even worse than it sounds.