X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) Review

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X-Men Origins: Wolverine:… I have Gambit in the Deadpool

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009): 5 out of 10: Wolverine is one of the most popular characters in the Marvel pantheon. He is also one of the worst. He has the same problem as Superman, invulnerability.

Since no one can kill him, it is difficult to create any real tension in the action scenes. Origins don’t even try. Wolverine befriends someone kind and innocent with eyes like a baby fawn. The baby fawn is then brutally murdered. Wolverine goes nuts and destroys a bunch of stuff. Rinse and repeat at least four times. (Think Hulk but skinnier and more Canadian.)

The cast is a mixed bag. Hugh Jackman is excellent (and muscled out) as Wolverine, but since he is continuously revenging loved ones, he does not get the wisecracking material he had in the X-Men movies. Liev Schreiber as Wolverine’s half brother Sabretooth plays the same character as he did as Daniel Craig’s brother in Defiance (minus the pointy teeth, however). At least he looks like he could be Jackman’s brother in this film, unlike Defiance where he and Craig were the most unlikely siblings since Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger in Twins.

On the negative casting side, we have Taylor Kitsch, who does not understand how to play his character Gambit. For one thing, Taylor Kitsch could not perform a Cajun accent at gunpoint. For the coup de grâce, we have Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. I know, I know, I also thought there was a judge’s order preventing Ryan Reynolds from coming within 500 feet of a superhero movie after that Blade Trinity fiasco and the Green Lantern debacle. After seeing Reynolds butcher Deadpool, I can only surmise the terrorists have won. (I originally wrote this review in October 2009. Both Mr. Reynolds and Deadpool have redeemed themselves admirably.)

The cheese is very heavy in this film. One could easily use some bingo cards with TV Tropes on them and play along with the film. If one turns their mind off completely (I recommend a malted beverage and perhaps a local herb), there is entertainment value in Wolverine. But good lord, where are Mike and the robots when we need them?

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