Friday the 13th (2009) Review

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Mother did it need to be so high?

Friday the 13th (2009): 8 out of 10: Jason is a bit off in this one. He moves too fast; he kidnaps people like he watched Rest Stop one too many times, and he seems to lack a certain hulking presence of the original. Outside of the main character, however, this is a pretty good Friday the 13th film. 

Friday the 13th is billed as a relaunch (remake reboot etc) and as such it seems to confuse. It contains plot elements of the first four films (Mrs. Voorhees decapitation takes place in flashback) and Jason rightfully starts with his original sack and finds his hockey mask (as he did in part 3). In addition, while I am critical of Jason having his own “lair” I am reminded he had one in Part 2 (Where he kept his mother’s severed head lovingly surrounded by candles). The main plot of a man trying to find his missing sister is straight from part 4.

Where Friday the 13th succeeds is cannon fodder and nudity. There are plenty of both and most of it is of high quality. The kills range from mundane (of these there are plenty) surprisingly intense (A burning sleeping bag may cause nightmares and the topless wakeboarding will cause nothing but smiles.) The sheer number and variety of kills however is impressive.

Camp Crystal Lake has apparently turned into a breast implant recovery retreat. While there is only one camp counselor to be found (in grainy flashback no less) there are plenty of woman with breast implants and an aversion to wearing shirts. Julianna Guill (who in fairness may be au-natural) in particular gets points for being one of the most attractive women I have seen on screen in many a movie. (Willa Ford of the topless wakeboarding scene is not half bad either.)

Considering the number of times the Friday the 13th films have gone off the rails in the past, one should not raise the bar all that high. In addition, while I am an unabashed fanboy of the series, I recognize the series as a whole has serious limitations. (What we now refer to as its charms.) This is a flashier, more competently lensed Friday the 13th, and is that such a bad thing.

There are plenty of bad jokes, drugs, nudity and violence. If that is not what you were looking for you may want to check the title screen again. As Friday the 13th movies go this is one of the best.

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