Cranky Decision (2002) Review

The only terrible decision is watching this movie

Cranky Decision (2002): 2 out of 10: revolves around Charity (Lota Chukwu), a strong-willed and independent woman who holds firm beliefs about gender roles in marriage.

Charity has always been vocal about her disdain for women like her friend Sylvia, who she views as submissive and weak, allowing men to dominate them in the name of marriage. Charity is convinced that marriage should be an equal partnership where both husband and wife have an equal say in family matters, including domestic chores. However, she also firmly believes that the financial provision is solely the responsibility of the man.

The Good

The Good: Well, it is something different. It reminds me I have liked Nigerian films in the past. Ones that don’t take place entirely in the producer’s house and offices admittedly. Also, Cranky Decision is clearly shot and in focus with good sound. So it has that going for it.

The Bad

The Bad: A very long time ago, I reviewed a British television play called Abigail’s Party. I posted the review in 2019, but the original review was written on January 28th, 2005. I was certainly in the minority of people who disliked Abigail’s Party. But one good thing about forgettable terrible movies is after a while they leave your thoughts…

Until I started watching Cranky Decision and all those repressed memories of watching Alison Steadman portray one of the worst people ever come flooding back.

Cranky Decision is a painful movie to watch. Nothing really happens. I mean, at least Abigail’s Party had a heart attack midway through. This is just Lota Chukwu complaining to her husband about having to do housework, stealing money meant for workers, and emotionally abusing and starving her daughter. (Oh and cheating on her husband in thier bed and not even bothering to lock the door.)

The Ugly

The Ugly: You know the description of the film is a couple negotiating gender roles in modern Nigeria… well, you cannot negotiate with terrorists. And Lota Chukwu’s character is a terrorist writ large. She terrorize her family as if she accidentally got the script for a gender swap Stepfather reboot and said “I am going with that.”

My writing skills come nowhere close to describe how unpleasant her character is and how much suffering those around her, including the viewing audience, have to endure.

But you know what as bad as her evilness is. I have to say the cuckolded, wimpy, crying husband is even worse. Good lord man have some self respect. Divorce the shrew, sleep with that hot secretary that is clearly into you in your two person international conglomerate. (How a business that comprises one laptop, a card table and one employee can fund that giant house in the capital is beyond me.)

Both leads are horrible people. There are only like six people in the entire movie and almost the entire movie comprises them talking while sitting on various couches and chairs.

In Conclusion

In Conclusion: This is not a “so bad it is good” movie as some of my other two out of ten movies are. This is just a miserable experience with no redeeming factors.