Arena Wars (2024) Review

Here is Subzero! Now, plain zero!

Arena Wars (2024): 6 out of 10: In the near future, society has become obsessed with a brutal new sport known as Arena Wars—a televised gladiatorial combat where convicted death row criminals fight a collection of international super criminals in themed costumes to the death for a chance at freedom. The arenas are sprawling, high-tech battlegrounds filled with deadly traps, vicious opponents, and an audience that craves bloodshed.

The story follows Luke Bender (No, seriously, that is his name. I kept waiting for him to say “Bite my shiny metal ass” but alas, he did not.) Bender is a former elite soldier wrongfully convicted of a crime he didn’t commit.

Arena Wars runs into rating slippage from a combination of the prisoners not being someone you can root for and the prisoners all getting killed in the first ten minutes. The desperate producers decide to use an innocent man for audience sympathy instead of a mass murderer or child molester and force Bender to fight. (It’s to save the life of his fiance or her father or the President… I was a tad unclear.)

Bender enters the deadly competition. Gets his fellow prisoners to fight as a team and goes after the costumed crazies who seem almost like the boss fights from the first Dead Rising.

As he fights his way through wave after wave of ruthless opponents. Bender, to the surprise of no one watching this film with an IQ above room temperature, uncovers a sinister conspiracy orchestrated by the shadowy corporation that controls the games. The corporation has been rigging matches and manipulating the fates of the contestants for their own profit. (I know, shocking.)

“Arena Wars” is one of those movies where the associate producer credits take five minutes.

The Good

The Good: Michael Madsen (The Hateful Eight) and a guy who I would swear is Bryan Cranston if this was not such a B movie… (It is Robert Donavan (Curse of the Komodo) who honestly could be his brother). Anyway, these two host the game show where prisoners fight costumed villains. Yes, also known as The Running Man.

Now here is the surprise. Michael Madsen is good in this movie. He is entertaining and gives an actual performance. I checked the forecast in Hell on Weather Underground and no snow was forecast.

And Madsen is not the only excellent performance. Robert LaSardo (2008’s Death Race.) is excellent as one of the earlier prisoners and honestly would have made a great lead. Alas, he exits stage chainsaw twenty minutes in.

While Arena Wars does not go for broke in a delightful over the top way like say Death Race 4: Beyond Anarchy It has a bunch of fun scenes, some good action, and is an upbeat brainless good time.

“Arena Wars” is also well shot and the comic relief does not make me want to poke my ears out with a fork.

The Bad

The Bad: While Michael Madsen is decent in this, Eric Roberts (Collision Earth) isn’t even phoning in his performance. He is using a telegraph. Now in defense of Eric, his character is supposed to be secretly long dead because of a plot twist that could not make less sense if it tried. But I am unclear if Eric is aware he is in a movie. I think they just clips from a zoom call discussing if the craft table will have organic yogurt. He was more convincing as a cat.

While there are more African American actors in Arena Wars than say Space Mutiny (Whose only African actor was a frozen corpse) It still seems weird that a prison in Washington DC has only white and Asian guys in it. It takes place in the future, so who knows?

None of the contestants are familiar with the Halloween franchise, I see. Michael Myers rules apply here people. Don’t knock out the axe wielding clown and then turn your back on him to give a high five to a teammate for the love of God.

There is also one special effect fail in the closing shot of the film that is telling. There is some CGI blood pooled on the floor at the end and the hero walks through it and manages not to leave any footprints. Bender is Jesus confirmed.

The Ugly

The Ugly: For such a ridiculously simple concept, the plot manages to get muddled halfway through. This is a problem for what should be brainless entertainment. Don’t make me think, dammit.

It is as if they felt “Arena Wars” needed a twist we would not see coming (And to be is fair I did not see it coming) but alas the motivation of the “Arena Wars” producer seems muddled. Why pretend that Eric Roberts and his daughter are alive for the last five years? What reason was this done? This is a Batman gambit with no motivation. Bender was not on anyone’s radar until twenty minutes into the film.

That somebody would go through all this trouble to make fake Eric Roberts video calls to keep the hero in the dark for the last five years makes no sense. He was already in jail. Seriously, who would be behind this? Who would care?

Oh, and pet peeve time. If you are like me and hate movies where a built-in audience is cheering on the heroes. (See Adam Sandler sports movies and the Death Wish remake of all things). Now I know that The Running Man had some audience participation but as good as Michael Madsen is in this film, he is no Richard Dawson.

The audience mysteriously stays the same despite the three individual tournament shows being filmed a week apart and one audiance member starts a slow clap which should be an automatic chainsawing.

In Conclusion

In Conclusion: I got Arena Wars as a free screener from the fine folks at Mahal Empire and Gravitas Ventures. This is my first screener I have received here at Cinematic Diversions and as a result I am probably a little giddy and went a bit easy on the film.

But Arena Wars is a fun brainless action film that does what it needs top do and has some surprisingly strong performances. Well worth the watch if you are in the mood for such entertainment.